My brave friend

Last week, my friend, Amelia, gave a brave TED Talk (starting at 38 min).  I learned so much.

I learned that my friend shares my feelings of deep sadness*, but it is easier for me to show her kindness and compassion than it is for me to show to myself.

I was reminded that small acts of kindness make a big difference.  Amelia mentions a text I sent to her last fall.  I was not aware that my words had such an impact. I made a difference to her.**

I realized that I am not who that affidavit says I am.  If I was, I would not have friends anywhere near as amazing as Amelia.

Amelia is brave and courageous to share her experiences so vulnerably.  I am so proud of her, and proud to be her friend.

*After I released this blog, I believe some friends and family took it personally that I hadn’t been candid about my feelings until now.  There are many reasons for this, such as protecting myself, having difficulty expressing my feelings, not wanting to be treated differently, not wanting to hurt people or cause them worry.  There really wasn’t anything that anybody could say or do to help me, anyway.  I needed to find the way for myself, and I needed professionals to guide me.  Until recently, I was not capable of sharing this information about myself. Reflecting on these points from my experience, I understand why Amelia hadn’t disclosed her difficult experience to me earlier.  We certainly have a lot to talk about on our next Saturday run!

**At my lowest points, I thought I was only a burden.  I felt that any contribution I made was overshadowed by the difficulties my great sadness caused my family.  I do matter, and I matter to very important and courageous individuals, like Amelia. I am grateful for this lesson.