Table of Contents

I need to get back on track*, so here is an outline of my story for this blog:

Part 1 – my saunter into depression

Part 2 – meandering through depression

Part 3 – climbing [but I wish I was running and I wish it was faster] out of depression

Part 4 – bonus track*

OK, I can handle this.  See you soon, dear reader.

*pun intended

 

 

INTERMISSION [already]

I started this blog to try to do something positive with my pain, and, once I thought of it, I felt like I was finally lifting out of a hole.  It gave me purpose and something positive to think about, so I avoided ruminating on the crap.

Over this past week since I began writing this blog, I’ve been concurrently transitioning off of one anti-depressant so I can start another in a different family.  My current anti-depressant makes me so tired that I have trouble getting anything done.  After several days of weaning off of the meds, I feel like I am back at square one where I was over a year ago and I don’t feel like doing this blog right now.  It is scary to be vulnerable, and I feel too sensitive to expose my feelings on this blog.  By writing here I risk getting hurt and feeling worse.

I did not have an appreciation for the amount of patience you need to deal with addressing depression, ironically, when you are at your worst at finding patience.  For example, when I finally got the courage to call for an appointment with a therapist I found out I wouldn’t be able to get in to see her for 3 months.  I didn’t imagine that trying to find help would make me feel worse.

It is very difficult right now.  I am lucky to have supportive people to help me.  I’ll try again soon to reach the goal of reporting my full story related to depression due to running loss on this blog.  I hope it will help me work through it, and possibly help other runners feel less alone. I will keep trying.

MY STORY IN BRIEF

Running is my main coping mechanism.  I find peace in its solitude when I’m close to nature. It’s when I have the deepest conversations, or hardest laughs, with my best friends.  It’s given me my most vivid memories of landscapes, and glimpses of busy cities I never would have experienced otherwise.  After all, it’s not every day that Times Square or the Vegas Strip are closed to traffic so you can run down the center of the street.*

At the beginning of 2015, I went to a medical facility to address a chronic hamstring injury I could run through, and came out with a new, acute injury that became chronic.  For more than 10 years I had run over 20 miles per week, often twice that when I trained for marathons, but due to the Achilles injury that resulted from this experience, as well as poor advice, I was unable to run regularly for more than 10 months (but my hamstring didn’t hurt!).

Although my injury and physical recovery influenced its topic, the focus of this blog surrounds the sadness, leading to major depression, that resulted when I could no longer run, and how I am overcoming it.  I have found limited, and scattered, resources on depression related to running loss, so I will tell my story and hope others who have experienced this will contribute to this blog so we can consolidate information.  I will also use my science background to summarize journal articles on depression related to running loss, the affects of running on mental health and evidence-based tools that help prevent and alleviate depression.

The intention of this blog is to hug readers with words, so they don’t feel alone, and to talk about what helps this syndrome in order to offer hope.

*I guess you can do this at any time, but, unless it’s race day, there’s a good chance you’re gonna get killed or arrested! 

RULES

This blog will be a place for runners who have suffered from depression to voice their story and offer practical advice to others for working through symptoms related to running loss.

This blog will be a place for injured runners who are suffering from, or are on the verge of, depression to visit for reassurance that they are not alone.

This blog will not substitute for the advice of a medical professional.

If you are injured or depressed, you should seek the help of a medical professional. 

If you are interested in submitting your story about overcoming depression related to running, please message Runner, Interrupted.